The title comes from Ariel‘s description of this skirt:

Personally, I think it’s a much more accurate description than the one from the GoJane site:

Be in a flirty and playful mood all day long. This moody denim skirt is flowing with rufle tiers in that dye wash everybody loves.

“Tthat dye wash everybody loves?” I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to read: “that dye wash everybody loves to hate,” because that is the only way the sentence could make sense.

Then again, they spelled “rufle” with one “f”, so making sense might not be at the top of their list of priorities. Unless, of course, it was intentional. Maybe the Coalition of Ruffles didn’t want to be associated with this and refused to give this skirt permission to use their name.

And yes, a Coalition of Ruffles is a more likely scenario than “that dye wash everybody loves.”

GoJane Moody Tiered Denim Skirt – $24.50

When I was a nine, Clarissa had the most amazing wardrobe ever (second was Cher from Clueless, third was Claudia Kishi). As far as I was concerned, the apex of style was this:

The way she carries the polka-dot theme through both the bike shorts and the vest? Inspired.

I did the best with what I had – from the ages of six to ten, never was I without a headband. Separating me from my bike shorts was near impossible. I didn’t have the giant vests or globe earrings, but dammit, I was doing my best.

But I knew that one day, when I was an adult, I would be able to buy my own clothes. Freed from my mother’s tyrannical requests (“It’s raining, maybe you should wear pants instead”), I would put together the ultimate Clarissa wardrobe. I would also be able to stay up past nine and eat cake for dinner.

Here’s the thing: Yes, Mini-Amanda had a master plan.

Then I became an adult and realized that it was a ridiculous plan (except for the cake for dinner part. Tastiest. Plan. Ever.). But otherwise, a ridiculous plan.

Apparently, other little boys and girls had the same plan, except they never became jaded. They just became designers, and produced things like bike shorts with lace panels.

David Lerner Lace Front Bike Shorts – $88 $44

Yeah, I know that it’s “Friday Feets,” not “Friday Accessories.” And yes, I realize that I should have thought about how limiting it would be to focus solely on shoes.

Heh. Solely.

But I just got a new laptop thanks to Dell’s amazing warranty policy, so I’ve been looking at new homes for it. My American Eagle messenger bag with minimal padding just won’t cut it any more, especially since my new laptop (named “Crockett”) will be accompanying me on a road trip.

Oh, yeah. That. I’m going on a road trip with my boyfriend to Montana. There may or may not be a blog. I’m undecided. It may be updated, it may not, because my first instinct is to catalogue my every waking minute, but my second instinct is to be remarkably lazy.

Point is, I am going on a trip, and am taking my laptop, and have since been looking at laptop bags. So today’s Friday Feets(ish) theme is ….

LAPTOP BAGS.

…

LAPTOP BAGS.

Oh, crap. I haven’t installed Photoshop yet I forgot Chairman Kaga had a doctor’s appointment today and couldn’t announce the theme. So, uh … LAPTOP BAGS!

Target Bueno Croc Embossed Briefcase with Front Organizer Pocket – $29.99
Starting, of course, with Target. I’ve been looking for laptop bags that look like regular bags, because I am convinced that this will outsmart those laptop thieves who have no interest in ordinary purses. Because those totally exist.

Anyway – a very grown-up bag for someone who has very grown-up places to take their laptop, like a job or a wine tasting.

Roxy Little Stud Laptop Bag – $50

And, on the other end of the spectrum, a not particularly adult bag. Lots of pockets are a good thing when you carry everything you own, like I do. No, really, I have 6 lip glosses and two books in my purse at all times. A bag this large is a very good thing.

Fun fact: two dozen Pleathers were killed to make this bag.

Don’t look so scared, Pleather. You’re going to be turned into a very reasonably priced laptop bag.

Fossil Octane Messenger Bag – $78

This is pretty much what I have used as a book bag since sophomore year of college. I like the ruggedness of canvas messenger bags. It’s a little more than I would expect from a canvas bag, but if the quality’s good, then this thing will last forever.

Actually, if you’re just looking for a good messenger bag (that doesn’t have to carry a laptop): American Eagle. Those things last forever. The one I bought sophomore year is still up and kicking – it’s what I’ve been using to (very carefully) carry my laptop for the last six someodd years.

Juicy Couture Neoprene Laptop Sleeve – $78

I don’t really know what a laptop sleeve does – I guess protect a laptop in a purse not designed to carry a laptop? Either way, it’s hot pink and quilted. It’s like a Chanel jacket for my computer. And Crockett has a taste for the finer things in life.

Another week down. I’m out of town for the next couple weeks but will be posting as normal (or, as close to normal as I can). Even if I don’t post an update to the fanpage, check in with the blog anyway – I might be auto-updating that day.

Thanks for reading, and have a good weekend!

Okay, I have way too much work to do today and not enough time (including, but not limited to, transferring all my files to a new computer because Dell has the best warranty program in the world). I’ll be back tomorrow with Friday Feets.

In the meantime, a follow-up to the last excuses post, which featured Jonathan the Zombie.

I was just going to post a picture of a dress I liked because I had kind of a bad day yesterday, and I’m running late to an appointment today. So yeah, I was going to be lazy.

And I saw this, and thought “Oh, awesome. That’s a nice dress. I’ll post that one.”

Then I looked at the name and thought, “So Far, So Hood. They don’t mean there’s a hood on this, right?”

“Right?”

“I guess they did. Well, crap. Now I have to make a post.”

ModCloth So Far, So Hood Dress – $57.99

I should not be posting this dress.

It’s a perfectly nice dress. Not my style, but I don’t hate it. Even the giant rosette isn’t that offensive to me. In fact, if not for the following picture, this dress never would have made it onto the blog.

Only Forever 21 would look at this dress and think, “Oh, hey, you know what would totally sell this? A giant bow perched atop the model’s head like a moth trying to nest.”

The bow is larger than the model’s head. I don’t even think I’m exaggerating here – it appears to be as large, if not larger, than the head upon which it is perched. I’m not even sure how the photographer fit both the bow and the model into this shot. The fact that the model’s head is still upright is a testament to the strength of her neck muscles.

Yes, it’s an absurdly sized bow that mere mortals cannot make work. In all my months of blogging, there is only one who has worn the giant bow and escaped unscathed.

Behold the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth, in the image that earned her the title. Her cool, steely confidence radiates from her. It wilts the bow atop her head as she forces it into submission. Hers is a power wielded by only a select few, an ancient magic that we may never fully understand.

So learn from her, Forever 21 model. You will be faced with such absurd accessories time and again if you continue to model for them. Your only hope is to find the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth and beg her to let you join the Model Monastery, where you can work toward your own Accessory Enlightenment.

Forever 21 Radiant Spiral Rosette Dress – $27.80