London Calling

Thanks again to Jac for these dresses. In her words:

“Dorothy Perkins is kind of like Forever 21 for Britain (though their shipping options suggest they might exist in the States; I wouldn’t know). So here are some of the delights they have to offer.”

“A shirt/dress for the girl who likes to map her body. Arrows pointing out to the hips (Here are my hips! Look how wide they are!) and in towards the crotch (Here’s my crotch! Look how . . . okay, I can’t think of anything to write to describe unflattering crotch-y-ness, but I know it’s ridiculous.).”

Personally, I think it looks like a more angular Ven Diagram for the female reproductive system. Ovary on one side, ovary on the other, and the common ground of the uterus in the middle.

“Finally, available in two stunning colour combinations, a dress for the girl who both wants to maximise the appearance of her stomach AND identify the location of her crotch with giant bow. Awesome, right? Right? I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without having arrows pointing to my crotch. How did I ever find it before?”

The giant front panel reminds me of those pregnancy panels they put in clothes to create a support system for a pregnant woman’s freakishly engorged abdomen. I’m not really sure what the point of the bow is; it’s not as if it gathers the material or serves a purpose. It’s just there, perched atop the crotch like a bow. I don’t know about you, but I’m always happiest when my crotch is well-accessorized.

And is it just me, or does this dress make you think of a mouse, with the black and then the pink armpit panels and pink bow? Seriously, stare at it for a while. Little mousey face.

Dorothy Perkins Grey 1/2 Sleeve Dress – £12
Dorothy Perkins Red Colour Block Dress – £3
Dorothy Perkins Black Colour Block Dress – £10

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