Marbled is Only Good For Steak

Okay, guys, seriously, I have a question: is this something we’re doing now?

Because, really, I can’t do it. I can’t. This is tie-dyed denim. TIE-DYED. BLEACHED. DENIM.

Starting with these offerings from Modcloth – first of all, I thought skinny jeans weren’t supposed to make you look thigh-heavy. And yet, these manage to because they are an unflattering rise, way too skinny, and also TIE-DYED. With a random blue splotch on the pocket, making it look like you left your Uniball uncapped in your pocket.

The LEAST OFFENSIVE of these options comes from Topshop. THE LEAST. This skirt could almost pass for wearable, and these shorts don’t look all that marble bleached – more just selectively faded. But that doesn’t change the fact that these are all marble bleached denim.

And these are marble bleached black denim. One of which is a vest. A denim vest. That is marble bleached. And sleeveless. When paired with the skirt, it makes quite the Texas Tuxedo. Is the matching mullet sold separately?

White Lightning Skinny Jeans – $49.99
Modcloth White Lightning Shorts – $34.99
Topshop Tie Dye Denim Pelmet Skirt – $50
Topshop Marble Bleach Frayed Hotpants – $55
Topshop Denim Shirt by Boutique – $100
Topshop High Waisted Denim Mini Skirt – $55

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