Torro, Torro!

This dress is a perfect example of something that is great on many, many people, but awful on me. It encapsulates the best case “You Want Me To Wear What?” scenario.

I love yellow dresses. I also love blue prints on yellow backgrounds. It’s almost impossible to be unhappy in a yellow dress. If you are unhappy in a yellow dress, you’re either a) soulless, or b) a 5 year old who is past her naptime. Yellow dresses have a cheeriness quotient matched only by Rocket Pops and a karaoke version of “Livin’ on a Prayer.” If you are wearing a yellow dress while eating a Rocket Pop and singing Bon Jovi, congratulations: you have so much serotonin in your system, your blood could be used to make Prozac.

This dress, happy though it may be, would make me look like a linebacker. I have broad shoulders and large breasts. That many ruffles would not be a flattering look on me. In fact, if I were to wear this to the running of the bulls, the bulls would fear my bulky mass. I would be chasing down the bulls, rather than the other way around.

The description on the site includes the following excerpt: “The vibrant, ruffled, button up bust with bubble hemmed, ruffled cap sleeves along with the nipped in, smocked, elasticized waist would have given my skinny form a girlish figure.” Which, yes, exactly. If you have a skinny form, congratulations, this dress will look amazing on you. You will want to find a cobblestone street to wander along. That’s the kind of potential this dress has. In fact, I strongly recommend that you buy this dress, buy a ticket to France or Spain, and wander the streets for hours in a pair of espadrilles and this dress. Just bring me back some souvenirs, like a cute Parisian.

ModCloth Cafe Pamplona Dress – $52.99

A knockoff of this dress is available at Forever 21, although I don’t know how similar the fit is:
Forever 21 Satin Ensemble Dress – $24.99

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