Flat, Snap, Button, Ugly

Sometimes I put on my corset top and my denim miniskirt, and I think, “If only this were one dress, made entirely of denim.”

Ok, that’s a lie. When I put on my corset top and denim miniskirt, I think, “Oh man, I really need to do some laundry.”

This is one classy dress. You know it’s classy because it’s in dark denim, as opposed to faded or bleached denim.

What’s really bugging me about this dress is that the buttons on the skirt aren’t lined up with the buttons on the top. Do they need to be off-center? Is there a reason, other than to make me super-twitchy?

Oh, and there are front pockets. Here’s the funny thing about pockets: if you have them on a skirt or dress, you will stick your hands in them. It’s involuntary. Even if you don’t normally stick your hands in pockets, you will do it when they’re present on a skirt or dress. If you’re doubtful, give it a shot and report back.

So, with that in mind, you know what this dress does not need? Front pockets, because you will stuff your hands in them, and any shot you have at poise in this dress will be gone.

Instead, you’ll be wearing a dress short enough that even Serena on Gossip Girl would think twice about wearing it, but with your hands stuffed in your pockets, looking both skanky and awkward. Which is a fairly unusual combination, and maybe that’s your look, in which case, via con dios. You’re one of ten people in the world who actively aim for “skanky and awkward.”

Forever 21 Flat Snap Buttoned Dress – $24.80

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