It’s Not a Phobia, It’s a Distaste

You know how on Maury, he’ll sometimes bring on people who have irrational fears of things? No? Oh, then do I have some links for you:

Yes, we can all agree, Maury is a terrible human being.

But, apparently Forever 21 knows I have to work out my issue with neutrals, so they’re trying to use some good, old-fashioned immersion therapy on me.

I don’t care how much they push it on me, I will never like oatmeal, either as a color and as a breakfast food.

This dress is both unflattering and boring, all at the same time. It trisects your body at the widest points, your shoulder line and your hips. But it doesn’t even use appropriately hideous colors, that would at least merit a “wow, people wear this shit?” No, it’s just kind of … there. I’m sure it’s perfectly passable, and it will sell, and it will be flattering on some people. It’s not even all that ugly. It’s just so very, very boring. Because it is in varying shades of oatmeal. And oatmeal is really fucking boring.

Forever 21 Wool Blend Dress- $27.90

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