Long Island Royalty 1

Much like Taylor Swift, I love sparkly dresses. I really do, even if I criticize them more often than I praise them. In fact, in the SNL monologue in my head, I have an entire song devoted to how much I love them. So, it’s quite possible that I might love sparkly dresses more than Taylor Swift.

Except this one. I don’t love this one. It’s called the “Island Princess Dress,” I guess because it looks like sequined Birds of Paradise are gently cupping her bosoms, as Birds of Paradise are wont to do.

However, I question if it’s designed for an Island Princess, or if it’s better suited for a Long Island princess who’s going to her school’s homecoming and will probably get drunk in the limo on a Smirnoff Ice, then start all kinds of mad drama with her best friend whose boyfriend she hooked up with last week everyone knows it, but whatever, it’s not like it really counts because he’s not even that into her anyways, and her nose job looks totally fake.

Wait. Actually, can we find out who’s buying these dresses, and then put some reality show cameras on them?

French Connection Island Jersey Dress – $188

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One comment on “Long Island Royalty

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