Caked On

We hold these truths to be self-evident: Cake is delicious. This top would be remarkably unflattering on me. It has thin stripes that would get all stretched out from my boobs, making it look like deformed rock layers. The poufy tiers would make the rest of my body look massive. Maybe it's just me, but ...

I Choose You, Pokeboob!

What does this top remind me of? It's so familiar ... I can't quite place it ... Oh, right. They give your boobs anime eyes. Man, that was driving me crazy. By the by, never wear this. Or, if you do, don't complain about how no one is making eye contact with you. They're making ...

Please Stop Avril Before Someone Gets Hurt

I ... so ... these are real. People. These pants are real. They once sold for $50. Kohl's seems to think that they'll sell for $20.They have zigzags in black and white. With random bursts of color. I have a migraine just from trying to get my eyes to focus. Can you imagine these in ...

Sea Sluggish 1

Forever 21 really likes to add unnecessary fabric to their clothes in an attempt at making it look classy and like it's not totally disposable. On rare occasions, it works. But, more often than not, it goes horribly awry. Take this shirt, for example. My first thought upon seeing the shoulder puffs wasn't "Oh, cute ...

Hybrid Skirts Spread, Panic Ensues

So, remember those hybrid skirts Forever 21 has been selling? Apparently, it's a thing. Sure, Hollister's version is a little more understated - it's more like a petticoat hem peeking out than a full on bustle. But it ruins the simplicity of a jean skirt. Oh, and also, I think it's kind of ugly. But ...

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