I like sequins. I don’t wear enough sequins, mostly because I get really OC about their falling off, and the ensuing gap in sparkliness. But I really, really like them, and wish I could wear them more often, especially in sparkly dress form.
There have been many great developments in the study and proliferation of Sequins and Sparkles. It was pioneered by great women such as Tina Turner and Cher. More recently, Taylor Swift, who I kind of want to be when I grow up, has made huge strides in the field.
I can only say, however, that these pants and shorts represent a huge step backwards in the Advancement of Sequins and Sparkles.
Sequins are festive. They’re shiny. They’re sparkly. They make you want to twirl around like you’re six years old and wearing your favorite party dress. I am very, very pro-sequins.
And it’s not that I don’t believe sequins can be worn casually. They can. I myself own a ribbed tank top with sequins on it. It is decidely casual, and I enjoy it greatly. While sequins are best suited for party dresses, they’re definitely not exclusive to them.
If you decide that you’re feeling kind of tired, or you’re a little puffy one day, you know what you’re not going to pull on? Your favorite pair of $350 sequined sweat pants. And that’s what those are. Those are sequined sweat pants. They’re baggy, they have an elasticized waist band, and the stylist didn’t even bother to hem them.
These are sequined sweat pants. Trying to market them as formal wear is an affront to the field of Sequins and Sparkles, and to all those who have worked hard to advance the cause of Sequins and Sparkles. It is also an insult to the beloved staple of “Ugh, I don’t want to put on real pants to go to class,” the sweat pant. What, sweat pants aren’t good enough for you, ShopBop? You have to go and try to make them classy and formal? That’s like trying to make fancy spray cheese: accept it for what it is, and love it.
As for these, the price tag is decidely more reasonable, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that this burgeoning trend is, as far as I’m concerned, unacceptable. These shorts appear to be sequined track shorts. Is there a demand for sequined track shorts that I’m not aware of? Because I’m pretty sure the answer to that is, “No.”
I’ve said it many times, and I will say it again: I love sequins. That doesn’t mean, however, that I believe you can just put them anywhere. There is a time and a place for sequins, and it does not involve drawstrings.
Honestly, I can’t believe I even had to say that. What kind of ignorance has befallen this world?