Ripstop Them, Please 1

Oh my god. Cargo pants are back. I had hoped that they would forever be banished to the windows of The Gap, but having now seen them in Lucky and in People Style (dude, it’s addictive, don’t judge me), it seems that cargo pants are in.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Do we really need that many pockets? It’s the clothing equivalent of the soccer mom with an H2. She’s not driving across newly formed basalt fields. She’s picking her kids up from piano lessons. Likewise, I don’t need to wear cargo pants to go to the mall. My MRE will fit just fine in my purse. The only time I’d ever need that many pockets is if I were going out and didn’t want to carry my purse, but I seriously doubt anyone’s going to be wearing cargo pants to clubs.

No, cargo pants have a useless number of pockets, and they serve the sole purpose of making you look bulky. Yes, they’re comfortable, but so are sweat pants, or wide-legged jeans, or anything else that doesn’t throw giant pockets onto the widest part of my thighs. I’ll go with any of those options before I wear cargo pants.

And yes, I realize some people like these, and hell, I liked them back when I was 11 and didn’t realize that they made me look massive. My mother would fight me tooth and nail on buying them, and you know what? She was right. It just took me another 13 years to understand that.

J.Crew Ripstop Cargo Pants – $79.50

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One comment on “Ripstop Them, Please

  1. Reply Rykilde Mar 17, 2010 7:48 pm

    I was just going to post about festivals and larps and needing to keep useful gear like medical tape and a radio and my inhaler and candy and whathaveyou… and then fairgoldberry beat me to it.

    Cargo pants, like lifejackets and hardhats, serve very well for their intended purpose.

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