A Sign of Things To Come 5

eHey, guys, great news! Apparently, clogs are coming back! Yes, that’s right, those slouchy clog monstrosities weren’t a fluke. They’re harbingers of what is to come.

And what is to come?

A little something I like to call …. THE ACLOGALYPSE!

Says Glamour.com fashion editor Susan Cernek, “We’ve seen Mary Janes for the past 10 years. And the same with strappy sandals. But clogs haven’t been in fashion for 10 years — and chances are, you don’t already have a pair in your closet.”

Hey, Susan, ever wonder why we’ve seen Mary Janes and strappy sandals for the past 10 years? Because they’re awesome. Because they’re reliable. Because these exist:

And do I even need to go into why the strappy sandal is a classic? I don’t think anyone has ever, in their right mind, looked at a floaty, summery dress, and thought “I can wear it with my clogs!” Not once has a woman paired her best dress with clogs. No, strappy sandals are an old standby, and that is why we’ve seen them for the past ten years.

Honestly, was anyone getting sick of Mary Janes or the strappy sandal? Was there a clunky void that needed to be filled? Was there a mass outcry that I missed? Riots in the streets? Who, exactly, has been demanding the return of the clog, other than the Dutch, who -

Oh my god. That’s it. The Dutch.

In these troubled economic times, the Dutch economy is expected to grow by 2%. Coincidence? Or evidence of a Dutch-led conspiracy to foist clogs, their main export, upon the American public?

I think I’m on to something here. This could be huge.

Does Glenn Beck know about this? Or Keith Olbermann? Because this seems right up their alley.

Stuart Weitzman Hiptown – $355 $242.82
Betsey Johnson Calandra – $154
Gabriella Rocha Dancy – $69.95
Steven by Steve Madden Durann Open Toe Clog – $149.95
Steve Madden Redlite Clog – $99.95

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5 thoughts on “A Sign of Things To Come

  1. Reply Alien Mar 26, 2010 1:10 am

    LOL!!!! that was one of your funniest posts, and I agree with it 100%
    I own a pair of clogs, but that's when I go to my grandma's house which has a garden and little farm thing, so it's practical and I don't get mad if it gets dirty.
    NEVER would I wear clogs on the street, or anywhere in public. NEVER EVER EVER NEVER!!!

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