These shoes have to go after the jump. They’re that bad. In fact, if you want to maintain your innocence, I would recommend you don’t click through. It’s too late for me, because you can’t unsee these. It’s the footwear-equivalent of the Ring tape.
So, proceed with caution.
I mean – what the – how do you – WHY? THESE ARE FLORAL COTTON SPATS ATTACHED TO A GIANT PLATFORM SHOE.
Why would you wear this? What purpose does it serve? Why would you want to wear shoes that make your feet look like floral hooves? Who thought these were a good idea?
I guess the one upside is that I don’t have to ask “how would you wear them,” because Free People so helpfully styled them for us. Apparently, you wear them with shorts. Of course. Because that’s practical, comfortable, and flattering.
Oh, and they’re a very reasonable $248. Because, in times like these, frugality and practicality are vital.