Every so often, I write a post on a Gossip Girl blog about fashion called You Know You Love Fashion. I, as well as the several funny and talented women who also write on the blog, have often commented on Vanessa’s love of clashing prints and oversized accessories.
This purse would fit right in. No, seriously, I’m pretty sure that an assistant at Forever 21 mugged Vanessa and took her purse while she was en route to her favorite independent coffee shop in Brooklyn. She’d probably make a deep and moving documentary in search of the person who mugged her, not to find the culprit, but so that she can help him or her, since they’re clearly more in need than she is. Then, when she happens upon a Forever 21 and sees this bag, she can write an angry anti-capitalist play for her dramatic writing class – a play so good, it’s published in the New Yorker.
Dan becomes so insanely jealous that he fabricates his own mugging in order to replicate her good fame, but it goes horribly awry, and he’s actually brutally beaten and mugged. He wakes up in a hospital on the upper East Side, and has no memory of Vanessa or his life in Brooklyn. Instead, he thinks that he is a socialite. The doctors warn his family that they must not shatter his illusion, at the risk of damaging his still-fragile brain. His family begrudingly plays along, except for Rufus, who spends the entire season in a snit because he raised his son not to care about materialistic things and status.
Okay, I might have just guessed the entire first half of next season.