Archive for June, 2010
For some reason, the fanpage’s timeline is skipping the bulk of May and June, so I can’t find the name of the person who posted these shoes. If you’re the reader, let me know so I can credit you, because these are a hell of a find.
The timeline is back – thanks, Nicole M, for posting these.
On the left, Alexander McQueen’s Armadillo shoes. On the right, LF’s version, “aptly” named Tribute. And when you read “aptly,” imagine I’m saying it with utter disdain and sarcasm. Just to clarify.
McQueen’s shoes are impractical and beyond my mainstream-retailer sensibilities, but I recognize that they are architectural and creative and befitting of their place in Lady Gaga’s closet (or Kurt’s). So, while I don’t understand the shoes, I do appreciate them for what they are.
The knockffs, on the other hand … I’m only left with one question:
Why?
No, really. Why? Is there a demand for these shoes? Should I expect to see women shuffling down Santa Monica Boulevard, looking pained and behoofed?
Yes, I realize those are several questions, but they’re all part of the larger question, which I will again repeat: why? Why make these, except to be kind of tacky and cash in on the death of a brilliant designer?
Oh, right. Because it’s a chance to be tacky and cash in on the death of a brilliant designer.
Never mind. Carry on.
Also do the shoes look like a dinosaur head to anyone else? Or Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors? I keep expecting the knockoffs to start singing catchy pop songs about how they need to eat and I should totally kill that abusive dentist.
Photo by way of Refinery 29.com.
I was never interested in joining a sorority, mostly because it just seemed like too much work. But, being easily influenced by pop culture, part of me longs for the crazy misadventures of the Greek characters.
Of course, most of those misadventures revolve around a theme party of some sort, and again, we’re back to the “it seems like too much work” sticking point.
Now I’m 25, and joining a sorority at my new college would be kind of weird and sad. But with a dress like this, you’re your own toga party. Who needs an invite from Delta Chi?
Plus you have a perfect excuse for going to class drunk. Actually, I’m not sure it’s a “perfect excuse,” but if the math department’s receptionist that I just spoke with is any indication, you don’t need an excuse.
ModCloth Doric Order Dress – $57.99
Dear Gap,
I know that you’re all regular readers of this blog, but in case you missed it, in March I wrote a post on The Gap Conundrum. I’m not sure of if you’re aware of this or not, but despite selling basics, you still manage to make unflattering, often ill-fitting (or ill-advised) clothes.
As a result, I don’t normally shop on your website. I only go there if I’m really desperate for something to post – which is what I was doing earlier, when I stumbled upon this:
Cute skirt, right? It also comes in a royal blue. And it’s on sale for under $20.
Or this. I’m not a big shrug fan, but this is a pretty cute cardigan to throw on with a skirt – like, say, that pintucked one.
And while I wouldn’t wear tiers (or animal print), this is actually a pretty good use of zebra print. On a girl who is taller or thinner than I, this would be great.
Of course, none of these come in my size, since I’m 20 years out of Baby Gap.
Frustrating, right?
I know, you have a whole line devoted to people my size: original flavor Gap. But here’s what you’re offering for grown-ups:
I hate to say it, but this is uninspired at best. Wait, I take that back. I don’t hate to say it. I’m happy to say it, because you need to hear this. That skirt is boring.
As I noticed how much better the Baby Gap clothes were, I tried to find matching adult versions, hoping that maybe you were just downsizing existing patterns.
But you’re not.
Here’s Baby Gap’s version of a light tank top:
And this is what you expect me to wear:
If you showed me two options side by side, I’d have a hard time figuring out which was the one designed for toddlers. This tank top is completely shapeless. At least the Baby Gap one has a little waist definition (which is a whole other conversation, because why do toddlers need their waists defined?).
So what’s the deal, Gap? Is it because you don’t need to worry about fit for toddlers? Because you think that adults don’t like to wear flattering patterns? Have you cut costs in the adult division by digging up patterns last used in 1996?
If the adult division showed half the style and wearability of the toddler line, I’d be shopping at Gaps way more often.
And by way more often, I mean that I would walk in the door rather than kind of glance at the window display and wonder why their mannequins are wearing six layers of hoodie sweatshirts. Speaking of: I don’t care how many hoodies you make them wear, you cannot convince me that hoodies are “in.” They’re not “in.” They’re just functional.
But no. Instead, you insist on selling overall dresses and misshapen t-shirts.
Do you not want my money, Gap? Is it not good enough for you? Because J.Crew loves my money. J.Crew wants my money like a hippo wants to dance. And at my nearest mall, J.Crew is 20 feet from your store.
Next time you see me walk by your storefront, Gap, I hope you watch as I ignore your desperate attempts at making wrinkled khakis happen. Because, until I have a toddler – and that’s not going to be for a long, long time, don’t worry Mom and Dad – I’m going to move right past your doors and into the welcoming arms of J.Crew’s tailored jackets and colorful tank tops.
I’m glad we had this talk.
Oh, and tell Old Navy that they had a couple years of being awesome, but they’re starting to look cheap again. They should do something about that.
Best,
Amanda
It’s been two months since last we checked in with The Hardest Working Model at ModCloth. This is no fault of her own – she’s continued to sell the unsellable, even as her efforts have gone unrecognized by this blog.
But no more. No more, I say.
I’m sorry, Hardest Working Model at ModCloth. It’s not you; I’ve just been distracted. That’s the only excuse I can offer as to why I haven’t posted this necklace … thing … until now.
It, much like the giant floppy head bow, is a testament to your unique talents.
This is a human harness. You just attach a rope to the back and suddenly your towing capacity dramatically increases.
But, despite the odds – against all logic, against all reason – you make this work, in that magical way you have.
You make an accessory that turns ordinary people into beasts of burden look not only dignified, but regal.
ModCloth Tier After Tier Body Necklace – $109.99
I have a ton of math homework tonight and a math test in two days, so I’m spending the afternoon locked away from online shopping and ugly clothes.
But! I’ll be done at the end of the week, and after that won’t have any legitimate excuses for not posting.
I’ll be back tomorrow to my usual posting schedule.
But for now …
I like metal accents. They’re shiny and make me feel like I’m a badass. Which is absurd, because I do not look like a badass, no matter how many studs and grommets I throw on my accessories. There are many words for what I am, but “badass” is not one of them. No, I am less badass and more, as I described myself last night to a bar patron, “tiny, rage-filled demon of hate.”
So instead, I fantasize about looking like a rocker chick, but throw on a pair of Converse and harass bar patrons. Pretty much the same thing, right?
In case you haven’t picked up on it, today’s Friday Feets theme is …
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Xhilaration Studded Point Toe Flats – $17.99
Pointy-toed flats with a rubber sole for traction and studs on the back? I’m intrigued. For under $20? Done.
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DV by Dolce Vita Denver Flat – $76.95 $42.32
And the counterpoint to the Xhilaration flats – a studded toe. And they’re in five colors, so you’re not just stuck with black.
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I’ve been seeing a lot of shoes with this zipper detail. The difference is, most of the time they have it on the edge of the shoe, in prime rubbing-against-your-skin territory. More often than not, they have the potential to be very painful.
I like the use of the zipper as piping. And on the back, there’s the zipper pull tab thing (what are those called?), which I find really amusing. I don’t know why the zipper tab thing appeals to me, but it does.
And there you go. A quick post about metal accents, because I am running late and need to leave the house 20 minutes ago.
A special thanks to Chairman Kaga for his help in presenting today’s blog.
