Now that I’ve hit 25, I’m already starting to plan my big move to a retirement community. I’m torn between Boca and Palm Springs. On the one hand, Boca is where my people traditionally flock in the winter or old age. But Palm Springs is only a short drive from the San Andreas fault, and there’s no humidity.

In the meantime, I’m just going to start building my retirement community wardrobe, starting with these Marciano pants. Drawstrings, a loud pattern, forgiving material? Oh, I am so set.

If only it came with a matching jacket, so I could wear it on my big date with that handsome octogenarian in my Bingo group.

Guess by Marciano Christelle Tassle Tie Pants – $118