I’m not really big on the bandeau trend, but I’ve been seeing it around. They don’t seem particularly comfortable, although they’re normally paired with a shirt that has giant arm holes – the better for a cross-body current, I guess.

Which is good, because air currents would account for why this massive seagull is soaring across your chest.

Hollister, I know you like your branding,  and you’ve got that seagull which totally looks nothing like the American Eagle logo.

But seriously, guys. Rein it in a little. This top did not need a giant bird sprawled across it. It just didn’t. You’re not working with a lot of fabric to begin with. Was massive, boob-cradling seagull really the best use of space?

And yes, it is boob-cradling, but not in the good way. The giant wings are at different heights but have the same general shape. Maybe it’s just me, but it kind of looks like the top is lopsided – like, it’s tilted at a 30-degree angle. At the very least, I’m pretty sure it will make you look like your left boob is a couple inches above your right one.

Although, given that bandeaus tend to fail at lifting, shaping, or separating, I’m guessing that they weren’t particularly concerned with lopsided, either.

Hollister Co. Venice Beach Bandeau – $9.50 $6.89