I should not be posting this dress.
It’s a perfectly nice dress. Not my style, but I don’t hate it. Even the giant rosette isn’t that offensive to me. In fact, if not for the following picture, this dress never would have made it onto the blog.
The bow is larger than the model’s head. I don’t even think I’m exaggerating here – it appears to be as large, if not larger, than the head upon which it is perched. I’m not even sure how the photographer fit both the bow and the model into this shot. The fact that the model’s head is still upright is a testament to the strength of her neck muscles.
Yes, it’s an absurdly sized bow that mere mortals cannot make work. In all my months of blogging, there is only one who has worn the giant bow and escaped unscathed.
Behold the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth, in the image that earned her the title. Her cool, steely confidence radiates from her. It wilts the bow atop her head as she forces it into submission. Hers is a power wielded by only a select few, an ancient magic that we may never fully understand.
So learn from her, Forever 21 model. You will be faced with such absurd accessories time and again if you continue to model for them. Your only hope is to find the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth and beg her to let you join the Model Monastery, where you can work toward your own Accessory Enlightenment.