High Rise 2

Amy sent this one in, with the elegantly understated:

Ravishing? I think not.

No, I didn’t accidentally stretch this photo. This is how it looks on the Urban Outfitters website. This is the best way they can market these jeans to people. This photo.

Or this one. Actually, this shot does give you a great sense of the product. It’s easy to see how tight they are on the legs; sausage casings even on this very slim model. Likewise, they appear to be an inch too short, adding to the Steve Urkel-esque proportions.

And, of course, I would be remiss not to mention the very, very obvious case of average ass that this model has contracted. These jeans make her butt look depressed. I want to buy it some ice cream and tell it to cheer up, because she won’t be wearing these pants forever.

Upon closer inspection, it’s not just that the jeans make her butt look sad. They make it look massive. Those two yolks are like girders for the denim, trying to provide support and structure in the face of what is apparently a butt that starts around her third lumbar and doesn’t end until mid-thigh. This effect is only intensified by the Dali back pockets that appear to be melting like clocks down the back of her thighs.

These jeans are a clear violation of the Mannequin Rule. They’re so bad, I want to make a Mannequin Rule Wikipedia article, just so I can cite these as an example.

But what’s most upsetting about these jeans is that Urban Outfitters is selling these for $150 when you can buy them from Lee for $24.

Urban Outfitters Ravishing Denim Super High-Rise Jeans – $150

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2 thoughts on “High Rise

  1. Reply YKYLFJen Jul 14, 2010 1:45 pm

    These jeans need to be paired with this bodysuit from American Apparel:
    http://store.americanapparel.net/rsac303.html?cid=30

    Interestingly, in my neighborhood, AA is just a few doors down from UO. It’s conceivable that someone could walk into one, purchase the offending item, and then stroll down the street and decide to buy its long-lost soulmate.

  2. Reply Amanda Jul 18, 2010 3:24 am

    Ugh. They don’t need to be paired with the bodysuit, but I’m sure that they will be.

    There are tons of AAs here … you know you’re getting close to a neighborhood with hipsters and/or college students when they become as prevalent as Starbucks.

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