I feel kind of bad talking about Etsy items, since they’re made by a person rather than a company.

It’s like making fun of Kei$ha versus making fun of the Indian guy at the karaoke bar on my birthday who sang “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Kryptonite.” I’m pretty sure Kei$ha was bio-engineered in a lab to find at what point a pop star can be both successful and devoid of all talent or skill.

The Indian guy at the karaoke bar, on the other hand (who was there last year, too), just loves to sing, even if he’s not particularly good at it and doesn’t always know the lyrics. I can’t fault him. He’s just doing what makes him happy.

Likewise, most artists on Etsy. They’re innocuous. So, if not for the fact that Nicole H. posted these on the Facebook fanpage, I probably wouldn’t have covered them.

But she did. And now, I can’t not post them. Because, seriously, who thought this was a good idea?

I know, you’re probably thinking that these don’t look too bad – they’re just tiered leggings, right? Not the best thing in the world, but not particularly offensive.

Oh no. These are so much more than tiered leggings. They’re tiered stretchy nylon bell bottoms that come in a variety of colors, including a tie-dyed option. And are meant to be worn as pants. I never thought I’d have to say this, but:

Stretchy nylon bell bottom leggings are not pants.

I mean, yes, these are probably very comfortable, and I’m sure they’re perfect for yoga. Both those points  are extolled in the description, and I really can’t argue with either.

However – a “fun, flattering design”? I don’t even know how to broach that one. Let’s start off with the fact that there is no way this is a flattering look on anyone. It’s barely a flattering look on the  model, and she’s the person they chose to sell the pants. This is a clear violation of the Mannequin Rule.

You know what these are? They’re that gift your aunt that you never see gives you for your birthday, and she got them for you because she thought they were “just so fun!” And you’re kind of standing there, holding them in front of you, feigning enthusiasm while trying to figure out what about you screams “bell bottom tiered leggings.”

Or you could just be upset that she didn’t get you that matching bikini top before it sold out.

Brazilian Style Cut Leggings – $75

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