You know what Halloween is missing? Sexualized children’s characters.
No, wait, my bad. There’s no shortage of sexualized children’s characters. There are so many, costume makers are starting to really stretch the bounds of things that can be sexy-fied (Sexy Optimus Prime? Really?).
Joining these illustrious ranks are the beloved Sesame Street characters Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and Elmo. How they missed the chance to do a sexy Oscar the Grouch (trash can with strategically placed cutouts) is beyond me.
Look, I get the “Sexy ____” trend. But come on – sexy Sesame Street characters? Is nothing sacred? These are characters designed to teach toddlers how to count. Last I checked, no one at 123 Sesame Street wore thigh high stockings and platform stripper shoes.
I think the most distressing part of these costumes is how they don’t actually appear to be costumes. You don’t look like you’re dressed up as Cookie Monster or Big Bird. It looks like you hunted them, skinned them, then turned their pelts into dresses while wearing their faces as tiny hats.
I read a few reviews where moms said their kids loved the costumes; I’d be concerned about traumatizing them. How do you explain to your child that no, Mommy didn’t kill Elmo and wear his fur like a cocktail dress?
The sexy costumes are weird in and of themselves, due to the sexualization of characters who are traditionally children – Little Bo Peep, Alice in Wonderland, Little Red Riding Hood. But at least, in all the incarnations we’ve been exposed to, those characters know how to speak in the first person.
Elmo, however, is three years old. THREE, PEOPLE. Big Bird is six. Am I the only person who thinks this is kind of creepy? Because I think it’s kind of creepy. I must be one of the few who feel this way, though. Aparently there will be enough of a demand this Halloween that not only do these costumes exist, but Sesame Street officially licensed them, because they want a cut of the profits.
There hasn’t been a mass outcry against these – they’ve made the rounds on the internet, but no one’s calling for Sesame Street to pull these off the shelves. Which is surprising, given that only a few weeks ago, parents were up in arms over Katy Perry’s costume on her Sesame Street appearance.
Just so we’re clear: it’s totally cool to wear Slutty Elmo costumes, but Katy Perry’s mesh-covered cleavage is a danger to the children of America.
Good to know. Thanks, Parents of America. You’re doing a bang-up job protecting your children from the evils of chestular fatty tissue.
All costumes from BuyCostumes.com