In case you missed it, the blog recently hit 500 posts. It was pretty exciting, but after a week of mentioning it to everyone I came into contact with, the shine has worn off (fun fact: my mailman does not care that I have a blog, he just wants to know why I leave mail sitting in the mailbox for several days).

But now that I’ve come down from that high, I’ve realized that I need to shake things up on the blog. The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week is wildly popular, but they don’t make a lot of clothes for sharks. So instead, I present to you:

Or, as I’ll be calling the blog:

Welcome to Ferret Week, everyone!

The leaves are turning brown, the air is crisp, and two new TV shows have already been canceled. It must be October, and you know what that means: Halloween. I’ve covered costume ideas for people in the past, but that was so limiting – especially if you are a ferret or or know one.

Given that most ferrets I know aren’t able to use computers, I’m going to assume that those who are currently reading this post are more likely to have a ferret than be one. With that in mind, I have two simple questions for you:

Do you have a pet ferret?

Do you ever wish your pet ferret could participate in the festivities of Halloween?

Well, now he can.

Says ferret.com:

Everyone loves to dress their ferret up for any occasion. Your ferret will be the life of the party! All our clothes are designed with the unique body of the ferret in mind.

As someone who doesn’t have a ferret, I can’t say for sure whether or not I would love to dress one up for any occasion. It doesn’t seem that out of character for me – I’m still looking for this crocodile costume for my dog, and when I have children I fully intend to dress them in embarrassing costumes until they can voice their protests. So, I’m guessing I’d love to dress up a hypothetical ferret.

I’m not sure, though, that my ferret would be so wild about the prospect. They’re more dignified than most of the weasel family, but it’s hard to have a lot of dignity when you’re dressed up like an insect.

John Belushi doesn’t look cool dressed as a bee and no one’s cooler than a Blues Brother.

I’m pretty sure this ferret realizes that he’s wearing a look even John Belushi couldn’t pull off. Look in his eyes. You can see the pain and dismay.

But, much like my future children, until this ferret can voice his dissent he’ll be subject to the whims of his owner. Of course, the problem with buying things on the internet is you can’t actually see it before you make the purchase.

Fortunately, the internet has a way of solving that problem. And it’s one of my favorite things about the internet: even if you don’t have a ferret to dress up, you can hear from someone who does.

My ferret doesn’t really like wearing clothes like most ferrets but I think this costume looked very cute on him. It is very big and my ferret is regular size. I think a big ferret could slip out of it. But I made some adjustments and now he is the cutest ferret in town. Overall I would recommend this product.

I have so many favorite parts of this review, I had to make a list:

1. The reviewer has previous experience dressing her ferret in clothes.

2. She continues to do so, despite knowing that most ferrets are avowed nudists. I say nudists because “doesn’t really like” suggests that ferrets make the choice not to wear clothes, rather than instinctually disliking them .

3. Ferret costumes are also subject to vanity sizing.

4. The reviewer fitted and hemmed her ferret’s costume.

5. Alternately, she found a ferret tailor.

6. She has either

a) compared her ferret to others in her hometown and found them lacking, or

b) she is extremely confident in the cuteness of her ferret, thanks to this costume.

So there you have it: if you have the time or disposable income to get a ferret costume and custom-fit it to your ferret’s unique body type,* here are two costumes that will have your ferret winning all the costume competitions this Halloween.

*Speaking of body types, a bit of advice: if your ferret is a little pear-shaped, go for the ladybug costume. The pattern draws attention upward, and the longer back helps camouflage extra weight around the hips.

Marshall Ferret Halloween Costume – $7.99