Ferret Week, Day 2: Outerwear 5

Welcome to day two of Ferret Week!  We kicked off Ferret Week yesterday with a post highlighting costuming options for you ferret. Since the weather here in LA is miserably gloomy, today’s post is about ferret outerwear.

First, a brief history of ferret outerwear. As everybody knows, ferrets are indigenous to tropical climates such as the Galapagos, where they are the main predators of komodo dragons. * Because their natural habitat is so temperate, they are not suited for cold winters. For years, ferrets spent their winters huddled together, sharing their beds with their pet dogs for warmth. In fact, this is the origin of the term “three dog night.”**

Over the years, a few brave humans attempted to make tiny jackets and sweaters for their ferrets, but it wasn’t until the advent of “the internet” that ferret clothing became available for the masses. The Internet became to ferret clothing what Gutenberg’s Press was for literacy: the great equalizer. Ferret clothing became accessible to all, rather than an elite few.

I am proud to participate in this process by showcasing outerwear for the fashion-forward ferret. I’ve added the ferret.com product descriptions because you don’t get the full effect without them.

Your ferret will look so distinguished in Marshall’s Fur Coat. The faux fur collar adds flare to this jacket and keeps your fuzzy warm.

I love how this jacket cinches in. It does a really nice job of giving her waist definition. And that ferret model’s coy expression … if ModCloth is looking for someone to showcase tiny clothing to go with their tiny hats, I know just the ferret.

You might be wondering, “does a ferret really need a faux-fur collar?” The answer, obviously, is an emphatic “yes.” Ferrets can’t be expected to wear a real fur collar. As everyone knows, they are very big on animal rights and are vehemently anti-fur.

Sure, you might argue, ferrets already have a fur coat to keep warm, but as I mentioned before, ferrets are from the tropics. Obviously, their dense coat is purely decorative. In cold winters, a fur-trimmed jacket is a necessity for warding off the cold. My only concern is for the ferret’s exposed lower half – do they make ferret long johns?

A little hoodie for a little hoodlum! Keep your ferret warm and cozy in this soft, fleece sweatshirt from Marshall.

A fur-trimmed outfit is a little too fancy for lounging around the house or going to the gym. Swap it out for a more casual look when your ferret just wants to take some time for himself.

I’m worried that the ferret will chew on the drawstrings – then again, I knew a bunch of guys in middle school who chewed on the drawstrings of their sweatshirts, and they turned out fine.

Their use of the word “hoodlum” confuses me. Is this just a play on words, or are there really gangs of ferrets roving the streets, looting and defacing property? Judging by the red hoodie in this picture, I’m guessing this model is a member of the ferret-equivalent of The Bloods.

Fashionable, Affordable, and Functional! Your fuzzy friend can be a trend setter and keep warm all at the same time. Made of soft denim and includes a Velcro closure.

Okay, I have to disagree with this one. Getting the right fit for a human-sized denim jacket is tricky; I can’t imagine it’d be any easier for ferret-wear. And that hat? It’s just too matchy-matchy.

Actually, the style of the hat it is similar to a pleather Bebe hat I posted last year. At the time, I said it reminded me of the kind of hat worn by a mom who is still desperately clinging to her youth. With that in mind, suddenly the denim outfit makes sense. Imagine that on an overly-tanned 40-something mom with a bellybutton ring.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is what cougar-ferrets wear while flirting with their daughter’s boyfriend.

Vrroom! Vrroom! Your ferret is ready to go riding with his new, “tuff” biker jacket. Made out of faux leather and even includes a silver chain. Your ferret is going to be the coolest ferret around. Hole on back allows this be worn with a harness and lead set.

Ferrets are widely known to be the rebels of the weasel family. They play by their own rules. In fact, James Dean’s character in Rebel Without a Cause was based on a ferret. It’s only fitting that ferrets have leather jackets. Of course, the rebel effect is somewhat lessened by the fact that this jacket can be worn with a leash. It’s hard to look like a rebel when someone is taking you for a walk. The risk of trying to walk a rebellious ferret is that I doubt you can get close enough to put a leash on. Ferrets, like most rebels, have perfected the art of disdainful snarling.

In the above picture, a man is helping his ferret with his jaded snarl. In the wild, the ferret would have learned this skill from its pack; domesticated ferrets sometimes need a bit of guidance.

The best thing about this jacket is its versatility: it can double as a Halloween costume. Think about it – this jacket could also be used to dress your ferret like The Fonz, a member of the T-Birds, or Jo from The Facts of Life.

This could be your ferret.

Marshall Ferret Fur Coat – $8.99

Marshall Pet Hooded Sweatshirt for Ferrets – $5.99

Marshall Ferret Denim Jacket – $8.99

Marshall Ferret Biker Jacket – $7.99

*This is probably not true. They are most likely descendants of European polecats. I don’t know about the komodo dragon part.

**Also probably not true.

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5 thoughts on “Ferret Week, Day 2: Outerwear

  1. Reply Hannah Oct 14, 2010 5:24 pm

    LOL! I haven’t checked your blog in awhile… I can’t believe I missed Ferret week. These posts are hilarious!

  2. Reply Amanda Oct 14, 2010 6:30 pm

    Thanks! Glad you liked it!

  3. Reply Alison Dec 2, 2013 3:24 pm

    Oh my god this is so amazing xD my friend and i were looking up ferret clothes on images (because we really want one and their clothes are too cute!) and the best part was finding this place, i laugh so much, you’re wonderful! :L

  4. Reply Chanel iPhone 6 Case Jun 16, 2015 3:20 am

    This overhead mainly exists because most graphics APIs will do shader compilation and state validation (ensuring API use is valid) when a draw call is made, which takes up valuable CPU time that could be used to do other things like physics processing or drawing more objects.

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