Ruby Rox Dowdiness 3

This is unfortunate.

The bodice reminds me of old lady lingerie. I think it’s the way that the lace starts turning into a v-neck so high up, creating these huge panels of sheer fabric. It just … it makes me think of giant old woman boobs. And I don’t want to think of giant old woman boobs. Most days, I actively try to avoid thinking of giant old woman boobs. But today is not like mot days. Today, I apparently am doing nothing but focusing on giant old woman boobs, because the top of this dress really reminds me of dowdy lingerie.

The back isn’t much better – sure, it’s not old lady boob-inducing, but the back isn’t exactly flattering. The stiff fabric creates more volume than the more women need. I can’t decide if the big white bow is supposed to hide or emphasize the butt. I’m leaning toward “emphasize,” because I find it hard to believe that anyone actually thinks that a bow in a contrasting color draws attention away from anything.

I can only assume that the designers saw the dress on the model and decided that it just didn’t give her the “Baby Got Back” effect they were going for, so they pinned a giant bow above her butt for emphasis. The only thing this dress is missing is a giant blinking neon arrow.

Maybe it’s because I’m so distracted by the old woman lingerie top, but what’s really strange is that from the front, the skirt doesn’t seem all that unflattering. It’s the stealth fabric in the back that gets you. It’s like a Bustle Ninja, the most unflattering of all the ninjas.

Ruby Rox Lace Trim Party Dress – $68

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3 thoughts on “Ruby Rox Dowdiness

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