Ugghhhh 4

Let’s say you’re a shoe company who makes really comfortable yet unattractive boots. Somehow – possibly through a pact with Satan – celebrities start to wear your boots. Before long, your boots are the go-to footwear for sorority girls and their mothers everywhere.

But the years pass. Juicy Couture sweatsuits are pushed to the back of closets, miniskirts are paired with tights and over the knee leather boots. Your shoes fall out of favor, and it’s not long before they’re pulled out of storage only for air travel.

All looks grim for you  until you have a brilliant idea. If you can just join forces with one of the great shoe designers of our time, surely this will put your brand back on the map.

And so, you call Jimmy Choo.

How’d that work out for you?

Yes, these are Jimmy Choo Uggs. Sure, they look like something you could do on a rainy Saturday with a Bedazzler, but these are designed by Jimmy Choo and therefore way better than anything your simple mind could ever conceive of.

I mean, really. Could you create tall boots with two layers of fringe and star-shaped studs? Maybe a tall boot with one layer of fringe, but only a true visionary would dare add a second layer of tassels.

Oh yes. If there’s one way to revive your brand, it’s by creating a line of ridiculously expensive boots that look just like the ones you already sell. Your original line of boots will seem like a bargain in comparison.

This scheme is just crazy enough to work. And if celebrities start wearing boots from your new, astonishingly overpriced line – well, you might just have another flash in the pan trend on your hands.

(note to Mr. Choo: Just because you’re throwing your name on something doesn’t mean it’s worthy of bearing your name).

Jimmy Choo Kaia Sheepskin Boots – $595

Jimmy Choo Mandah Black Suede – $795

Jimmy Choo Sora Fringed Suede Boots – $695

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4 thoughts on “Ugghhhh

  1. Reply Nickie Frye Nov 13, 2010 5:48 pm

    WOOF!!!! LOL! This is hilarious. And disturbing. ;)


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  4. Reply yeezy-boost350 Apr 12, 2016 11:31 pm

    Now these are some shoes that Rockets fans can get behind with the red and black fades. They remind be a bit of T-Mac 1 and 2s — a more simplified and refined version of those early 2000′s shoes.

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