9021-Snow Big Deal 3

Ever since I saw a copy of the Beverly Hills Courier while walking my dog the other day, I’ve been really excited over an event called “Snow 90210 Rodeo” (or, as I named it, “9021-Snow”). Rodeo Drive was closed for three hours tonight and 20 snow machines were brought in to create a winter wonderland.

I’ve been talking about this nonstop for the last couple days because when I get an idea in my head, I get a little obsessive about it (case in point: this blog).

So tonight, at 6:00, I set out with my camera, my knee high boots, and a heart full of holiday cheer.

As I walked over, I spoke with two women who were on their way to the gym. How could they go to the gym, I asked, when there was snow to be played in? Did they have no sense of childlike wonder? They laughed and edged away from me as we crossed the street.

My first snow sighting. I was giddy, thrilled, filled with glee and merriment.

As I turned the corner onto Rodeo, I noticed something was amiss. The snow didn’t fall quite right. It floated gracelessly. Some flakes clumped together. That’s when I realized: it wasn’t snow at all.

It was snowing soap suds.

I guess it’s fitting: in Beverly Hills, the lips are fake, the boobs are fake, the hair is fake, the snow is fake.

I was told there would be snow, not Dawn. Winter wonderland fail, Rodeo Drive Committee.

There were horse drawn carriages driven by some of the most miserably unhappy people I’ve ever seen. I don’t have any pictures because it seemed kind of wrong to take photos of the drivers, given the expressions of loathing on their faces. This might have been because not a single pedestrian had the good sense to get out of the way of the carriages, so wranglers had to shoo people onto sidewalks when the carriages went by.

The carriages did lead to a great overheard quote, though. From a woman speaking into her tiny walkie-talkie: “Next time, let’s remember to put bells on the front of our horses.”

Police officers wearing shorts really contribute to the illusion of wintery weather.

I’d managed to get dressed and leave the apartment, so I didn’t want the evening to be a total waste. Just as I was getting sick of wandering around brushing soap suds out of my hair, I stumbled upon one of my greatest dirty pleasures: fur protests.

I’m  not a completely  horrible person. Let me explain.

I’m not a fur person. I don’t wear real (or even faux) fur. It’s not an ethical thing – I own a lot of leather – I just don’t find fur all that appealing. I just want to make that clear.

However.

I find organized insanity to be wildly amusing. And to me, a woman dressed as a bunny-fox hybrid covered in fake blood  qualifies as organized insanity.

In sum: I might have followed them down two blocks, giggling like a fool, watching them get progressively hoarser while yelling at store employees who don’t have any influence over their store’s products. They also ignored the poor enslaved horses being driven past them.

But the fur protest wasn’t the only thing that raised my spirits after such a massive disappointment. Here are some other things that I saw tonight which made an otherwise lackluster (and snowless) evening worthwhile.

The displays at Prada. I wanted everything on all the mannequins, especially those teal shoes.

Santa baby, put some Prada under the tree for me.

I’ve been a moderately decent girl despite the fact that I find fur protests wildly amusing.

I know it doesn’t fit the rhyme scheme or cadence, but I figure it’s a little more accurate than “I’ve been an awful good girl.”

Nothing warms the cockles of my cold, dark heart quite like jewelry from Tiffany’s.

Even if I didn’t get to see real snow, at least there was the giant Swarovski snowflake hanging from the Beverly Wilshire (the hotel from Pretty Woman).

And, of course, Cher’s staircase.

Sure, I now have “All By Myself” stuck in my head, but it’s totally worth it to slip a Clueless reference into this post.

In sum: no snow, but at least Prada makes pretty shoes.

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