Worldly Knowledge

Shortly before Miss South Carolina shattered our nation-wide belief that beauty pageants really were about the scholarships, a study on the geographical literacy of the Youth of America™ was released by National Geographic.

If you’re at all familiar with the Youth of America™ – or if you read my post on Wet Seal’s Grammar Fail t-shirt – the results of the survey are not particularly shocking. Nine out of ten students couldn’t locate Afghanistan on a map. Which, okay, that one is kind of tricky – sure, we’re still at war there, but it’s not like Afghanistan is ever in the news. But half of the young Americans tested can’t find New York on a map. Granted, that was in a pre-”Empire State of Mind” world, so it’s entirely possible that statistic ahs changed since Jay-Z made New York a state worth knowing.

ModCloth cares about the Youth of America™’s geographical literacy, so they’re carrying this wearable educational aide.

It doesn’t come with stick-on labels, but you can probably make your own. Sure, at $260 it’s a bit pricey for your average ignorant teenager, but can you really put a price tag on knowing basic facts like, “Where is Africa?”

(Hint: it’s the big chunk of land hovering over your uterus).

But really, if the Youth of America™ can’t find countries on a map, we’re in trouble. Who will protect us against well-dressed crime lords whose minions steal national parks and all the sushi from Japan? Who will build a really large and ineffectual wall to keep Canadians from crossing the border? Who will design the maps at Fox News?

Oh god. The crisis has already begun. We’re doomed. Quick, someone station guards at Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, and the Empire State Building. Keep your eye out for suspicious characters with pun names like “M.T. Pockets” and “Ruth Less.”

What do you mean, “Where’s Mt. Rushmore?”

ModCloth Around the World Dress – $261.99

Edited to add: The FoxNews thing isn’t real, but it sure is funny.

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