By the Neuroses Shore 2

When I was eight, my family went to Hawaii on a vacation. Before my self-imposed lockup that lasted the duration of high school and left me pale from lack of sun exposure, I was very dark and tanned easily. As such, I had no patience for applying sunblock, and the task fell to my mother. She was diligent in her application and attentive to any signs of burning.

I, on the other hand, was focused solely on enjoying water that wasn’t a murky brown color and a beach free of discarded needles. Understandably, I was impatient whenever my mom would insist on reapplying my sunblock.

After several days of my squirming and huffing as she doused me in Coppertone, she finally resorted to just slathering my shoulders and sending me on my way. This resulted in my developing a tan on my arms that resembled the uneven sleeves of Peter Pan’s tunic.

For a young child with just a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder, this uneven tan was torture – and, odds are, cosmic punishment that the universe deals out only to children who are impatient with their parents.

Given that I am retelling this story on my blog, it’s obvious that this incident still has a strong impact on me. When I go to the beach, I’m careful to always apply an even coating of sunblock to my limbs, no matter how rushed I am. Nearly eighteen years later, I live in fear of reenacting this fateful tan.

With that in mind, it makes sense why the very idea of this swimsuit gives me hives.

Little diamond-shaped windows of tan running down your torso? Oh god. Why don’t you just leave my bed unmade and make me eat all my M&Ms in no particular order while you’re at it.

The longer I look at this swimsuit, the more familiar it becomes. I know I’ve seen it before … if only I could place it.

It would explain why the swimsuit is so expensive: shipping from Tatooine can be pricey.

Matthew Williamson Escape Twisted One Piece – $550

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2 thoughts on “By the Neuroses Shore

  1. Reply Sherry @ Girls Day Out Apr 11, 2011 6:45 pm

    I could never abide such an uneven tan! I am with you, girlie! Cheers!

    • Reply Amanda Apr 14, 2011 12:55 pm

      Right? I got a sunburn on my nose this weekend while wearing my glasses, and the little horseshoe on the bridge of my nose is driving me crazy. Kind of perfectly timed with this post, actually.

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