Public Service Announcement #13: Hardly Edible 3

It’s midnight. You’re at the hottest club in town. You’re wearing head to toe Ed Hardy (natch) and the girls have been checking you out all night. You look good. You know it, they know it, and there’s not a chance you’re going home with a grenade tonight.

The DJ puts on that Enrique Iglesias song, the one with all the Jersey Shore cast in the video. You’re air punching like a boss when you realize that all those Red Bull and vodkas are starting to wear off. You don’t want to leave the floor to get another drink, but you know that if you don’t get yourself pumped up soon, you won’t even be able to keep up with a butterface.

Don’t worry, bro. Ed Hardy’s got your back.

Super Caffeinated Chocolate Rocks will rock you into awareness.  The chocolate is heavenly and the energy is divine.

  • Every Box packs the caffeine energy of 6 Cups of Coffee or 6 Energy Drinks
  • 600mg. Caffeine per Box
  • Crazy Delicious 60% Cocoa
  • On The Go Energy! Six portions per box!

That’s right. Ed Hardy chocolate – with caffeine. A shitload of it. So much caffeine that your hair will stand up straight without any hair gel (but you’ll use it anyway, it’s part of your look).

So you chow down on that chocolate bar, and you’re already starting to feel like your old self. A total ten comes up to you and asks you to buy her a drink. The bar is loud, so you have to lean in close to talk. You pause – you don’t want to be yelling in her face with some nasty chocolate breath.

Lucky for you, there’s an Ed for that.

You’re set. You’ve bought this chick some drinks, you’ve danced, and now she’s saying you should close out your tab and go party with her and some of her friends at their totally sick beach house. You swing by the coat check on your way out the door and pick up your baby – it was your night to watch him, after all. He may be looking swank in his Ed Hardy onesie, but that baby’s totally cranky and cramping your style. It’s 2am and way past his bedtime.

So you give him a lollipop. Before long, your infant is up and partying like a freaking pro.

Thanks to Ed Hardy, there’s nothing standing in your way tonight.

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3 thoughts on “Public Service Announcement #13: Hardly Edible

  1. Reply Annabelle Apr 13, 2011 9:42 pm

    Oh my god. This is just… there are no words. I feel like I could catch a terrible STD just looking at the pictures of these items.

  2. Reply Constance Jul 8, 2011 4:10 pm

    These Ed Hardy Chocolate Rocks are incredibly energizing girls!

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