Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it: bikinis are way too concealing. It’s like, hello, it’s not the 1920s. There’s no need for a bathing dress anymore. What are we, Puritans?
Fortunately, Frederick’s of Hollywood – the last bastion of good taste – has found a way to combat the smothering embrace of the traditional bikini.
With sunlight glinting off the rhinestone pyramid emblazoned on the otherwise sparse real estate of these bikini bottoms, you’ll be hard to miss. Don’t be surprised if people can’t stop staring – they’re just wondering if it’d be weird to ask for the number of your esthetician. Either that or they can’t look away from the almost otherworldly glow emanating from the shiny pyramid on your groin.
Sure, you run the risk of a rogue wave making all the sunbathers your impromptu gynecologists, but you have to take risks to look good. Rocking a bikini like this, you will definitely look good. Hell, even if you don’t, at least you’ll get noticed.
And let’s be honest: attention’s attention, right?