It’s like 1970s wood panelling for your body.
First and foremost, I’d like to take issue with the ModCloth Naming Committee’s choice for this swimsuit. They went with “Daiquiris on the Deck One Piece,” which is confusing given that there are no daiquiris to be found. I guess the daiquiri is supposed to be the red belt, and the deck is your flank? It’s just a little too suggestive of body shots for my taste. I figured they’d at least include a pun, like “Wood-n’t It Be Nice One Piece” or maybe “Against the Grain One Piece.” Either of those would be more indicative of what the swimsuit actually looks like.
This bathing suit is revolutionary. Never before has there been a swimsuit that doubles as camouflage. Imagine all the fun you could have: lying on a hardwood floor in wait, poised to spring up and startle an unsuspecting victim. At camp and you don’t want to go swimming in the lake? Just throw this on and stand next to your cabin – no on will suspect a thing. Spying on your crush? Just sneak out to his front yard and stand in front of a tree. Just don’t forget to remove the belt – wood isn’t known to accessorize, so the bright red belt might be a giveaway.
Even if you decide not to go with the camouflage angle, this swimsuit is perfect for a “Sexy Station Wagon Siding” Halloween costume.
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