Combat Cutouts 3

After yesterday’s post, I decided to make this week Jeffrey Campbell week. I’ve mentioned Jeffrey Campbell shoes before, most notably with the horrifying open-toed boots from a couple months ago.

Chictopia covered Campbell’s fever dream-induced footwear designs, except the blogger had a slightly different take on it all than I do. As she said:

And like every girl who is into fashion and doesn’t want to look like everybody else, after a certain point you have to wear what the eyes were once telling you looks insane (and what your boyfriend still thinks looks insane).

I’m all for creativity, but creating ugly shoes and then calling them art doesn’t make them worth wearing. It’s the ultimate case of the Emperor having no clothes, part of the myth that fashion must be inaccessible. The gist of the Chictopia post is that the author doesn’t totally get the shoes, but she knows she has to have them because no one else is wearing them. I’m pretty sure I read a Betty and Veronica comic with that exact same plot.

So, Jeffrey Campbell is more than deserving of a week devoted to his creations. I kicked it off (unintentionally) with the good, so let’s dive right into the bad and ugly.

Have you ever worn your Doc Martens and thought, “If only these could have more ventilation, and maybe rub  my heel raw a little more?” Weird, neither have I. And yet …

Another nonexistent need met by Jeffrey Campbell. What is this guy’s preoccupation with random cutouts? Does he think that the modern foot requires more air flow to keep from overheating like a computer? Because someone should probably explain to him that the foot has done just fine for years without being exposed at random.

As with many Campbell shoes, I can’t imagine that these are particularly comfortable. It can be tough to find a pair of sandals or boots that don’t rub your foot wrong; combining the stiff leather of a boot with the stark edges of a sandal spells trouble for those who prefer to avoid painful blisters. Plus, you’re wearing leather boots without any socks, which means that after an hour you will have a gross swamp of foot sweat fermenting in the toe bed.

Then again, maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe this is one of those things that you have to see on a person to really understand.

Nope. Still not getting it. They look like those shoe covers that come with cheap Halloween costumes. Seriously, if you’re going to wear combat boots, commit to the boots. Never mind that the heel is the most difficult part of the foot to maintain. Think about it – you can throw some polish on your toes and make them look not completely hobbit-like. Heels, on the other hand, are trickier. You have to moisturize and pumice to make sure they don’t look like they belong to a cave man. Unless you have particularly attractive heels, I don’t know why one would be compelled to spotlight them.

On the whole, like so many of Jeffrey Campbell’s shoes, I am yet again mystified. If anyone can explain these to me, I would greatly appreciate some sort of enlightenment.

Urban Outfitters Jeffrey Campbell Cutout Boot – $249

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3 thoughts on “Combat Cutouts

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