Thanks to this Delia*s t-shirt, I have an awesome idea for a TV show.
It’s called Alpaca’s Pack, and it stars Ally Sheedy as Dolores Alpaca, a no-nonsense animal therapist who can, of course, talk to the animals like a modern-day Dr. Doolittle. She’s just gone through a messy divorce and is trying to balance her workload with finding her footing in the dating world and butting heads with her rebellious teenage daughter (Miranda Cosgrove). Oh, and her uncle has given her a pet llama (voiced by Queen Latifah) with a penchant for Ray-Bans and sassy one-liners.
It’s perfect for USA Network. Someone send this post to one of their development execs immediately. I don’t have an agent or a treatment, but I’m sure that once they read this post, they’ll understand the brilliance. It stars an actress with “Oh yeah, what happened to her?” name recognition, the main character has an improbably impossible job and skill, and the show has a high quirk factor. What’s not perfect for this network? If your answer is “Well, it stars a Ray-Ban wearing llama,” then clearly you haven’t seen the posters for the latest season of White Collar.
For those of you wondering just how unhinged I become when confronted with blogger’s block, the working title was Me Llama Alpaca. It reduced me to a fit of hysterical, slightly manic giggles, so I decided it was maybe too awful even for USA.