Mod Faux Vintage 2

Forever 21 knows what you like. They could sense that your legs were feeling coy. They anticipated the Pirate Dog craze that’s sweeping the nation. They knew that the time was right for a Vatican/Jersey Shore collaboration.

So, when you say that you like vintage clothes, Forever 21 cuts right to the quick. They know what you love about vintage clothes: the synthetic fabrics and the way that nothing ever fits quite right. It’s with those details in mind that Forever 21 created this tunic.

They also know how much you love that stale smell all vintage clothes have, but they haven’t figured out how the recreate the smell yet. However, my sources tell me they’re working on it.

This shapeless tunic gives you all the extra fabric of that oddly cut top you found at that overpriced thriftstore on Melrose, but for half the price. What a steal!

If you’re the crafty type, you can spend hours pinning and recutting the top until it shows some vague semblance of your figure. Of course, given that Forever 21 has even managed to make the armholes too big, you’ll probably lose hope halfway through and realize that altering this top is a Sisyphean task.

If you’re not a sewer, you can try it on in the fitting room and deliberate for ten minutes before finally deciding that “Maybe I can belt it or something …” Either way, odds are it will sit on the floor of your closet for years to come, until it finally makes its way to Goodwill and becomes a vintage piece, completing the clothing circle of life.

If they weren’t trying to emulate the weird cuts of vintage clothes, then I can only think that the economy is hitting Forever 21 harder than they’ve let on. After all, when a company has to get rid of not only their fit models, but their dress forms as well, that definitely means that times are tough. And if they’ve been outsourcing production to Home Ec classes around the country, as this fine display of craftsmanship suggests, I’d say that’s a better sign of the times than anything from the S&P.

Forever 21 Mod Lslv Tunic – $19.80

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2 thoughts on “Mod Faux Vintage

  1. Reply Amy G Aug 23, 2011 2:31 pm

    ugh i went to the F21 in Times Square last week…they had a whole wall of what was basically terribly done 70′s clothing. I think the trend is 70s inspired clothing, not making carbon copies of that ugly polyester thing you found in your mom’s closet, printed to basically look like someone threw up on it after eating skittles. Forever 21 fail.

    • Reply Amanda Aug 23, 2011 2:50 pm

      I’m torn between jealousy that you were at the Times Square F21 (my one visit there was like a religious experience, and it’s open past midnight!) and horror that there’s more where this top came from.

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