The Return 2

Remember that one time when Comedy Central gave Dave Chappelle twenty billion dollars and their firstborn to keep being brilliant and funny, and then he sort of cracked under the pressure and went to South Africa, and everyone thought he had gone crazy but it turns out he was just kind of over it, and also maybe kind of a dick?

Yeah, that’s what happened to me over the last couple weeks. Except I didn’t flee to South Africa. I mostly just watched The 90s Are All That, Pretty Little Liars, and Ancient Aliens. Also, I didn’t get a lucrative contract from Comedy Central, but I did get a major case of writer’s block that happened to coincide with the second (!) anniversary of the blog (happy birthday from a week ago, blog. You don’t get cake this year, just shame).

Anyway, for those of you who noticed my absence, I’m not dead or hiding in South Africa or recovering from “exhaustion” at Promises in Malibu. I was just being really lazy and letting a bad case of writer’s block get the best of me.

But that’s done (for now, anyway). In celebration of my conquering general malaise, (alternately: General Malaise, the head of the Doldrum Army), I’ve asked an old friend of the blog to help me announce my triumphant return to the keyboard.

Indeed we are, Hardest Working Model at ModCloth. Indeed we are.

Although, Hardest Working Model is a rare sight at ModCloth these days. ModCloth, where has she been lately? I am not nearly as enamored with your other models. It’s not that they’re bad. It’s just that, other than the HWMaM, the occasional ModLol, and Blasé Moddle, the models are definitely not standing out the way a ModCloth model should. I demand more Hardest Working Model at ModCloth – not only because I find her mix of serenity and attitude to be fascinating, but because your site really needs models like her.

I mean, come on. If you are seriously going to try to convince people to buy these Jeffrey Campbell eyesores -

- you absolutely, without a doubt, need to post more than just a bunch of pictures of the shoe. I don’t need six different angles to figure out that these booties are inspired by fumigation tents. No, what I need to see is an actual person wearing these, partly because I refuse to believe that these are real. I need to see how you think we should style these monstrosities. And I need to see it on someone I trust – a model with a strong, confident gaze, who is able to wear fumigation tents on her feet and random hoods on her head. ModCloth, you need the Hardest Working Model at ModCloth. The two of you belong together, like Jennifer Love Hewitt and Lifetime, The Network For Women.

Don’t fight it, ModCloth. Run to the Hardest Working Model At ModCloth’s front door, stand in the rain outside her window holding a boombox, then tell her that she completes you. Just do it, ModCloth. Fall is rapidly approaching, and I really don’t know if I can handle the style insanity that comes from a season change without her.

ModCloth Unisexy Sunglasses – $11.99

ModCloth Sidelines Bootie – $191.99

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2 thoughts on “The Return

  1. Reply Lexi Aug 26, 2011 8:14 pm

    That’s really funny! Thank you! :) ))))

  2. Reply Yeezy Boost 750 Apr 13, 2016 12:21 am

    Dozens of people joined a 2.3-mile walk from the Cornhusker Bank branch on Cornhusker Highway to the People’s City Mission. The event is part of the One Day Without Shoes drive, which is in its sixth year.

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