Bearly Legal Barenstain Bears, vol. 3 2

From Paleolithic cave drawings to Egyptian statuary, from Peruvian pottery to Roman frescoes, images of fertility and copulation have a long and storied history in mankind’s artistic development. - Dr. Jacques Humperdink, A Clinical Analysis of Pornographic Imagery

In keeping with this long and storied tradition, here’s a ring with two bears going at it. Should you choose to wear this ring, I suggest you steer clear of playgrounds. Inevitably, a small child will ask you what’s on your ring, then ask their mother to buy them a ring with the bears hugging from behind.

Also, avoid zoos, because you don’t want to over-excite the bears.

I want to buy several dozen of these and bury them in various locations with burnt offerings and pottery shards, so that one day archaeologists will think we all worshiped a bear fertility goddess.

Thanks to Amy Goudreau for posting this on the fanpage. Had she not posted it, I would have continued to live in blissful ignorance, unaware that you can wear ursine erotica on your hand.

Verameat Hibernation Hump Ring – $68

Check out Verameat’s website. It’s only 3% bear porn, and 97% awesome and creative pendants and rings, including but not limited to a Loch Ness monster necklace.

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2 thoughts on “Bearly Legal Barenstain Bears, vol. 3

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