Bearly Legal Barenstain Bears, vol. 3 1

From Paleolithic cave drawings to Egyptian statuary, from Peruvian pottery to Roman frescoes, images of fertility and copulation have a long and storied history in mankind’s artistic development. - Dr. Jacques Humperdink, A Clinical Analysis of Pornographic Imagery

In keeping with this long and storied tradition, here’s a ring with two bears going at it. Should you choose to wear this ring, I suggest you steer clear of playgrounds. Inevitably, a small child will ask you what’s on your ring, then ask their mother to buy them a ring with the bears hugging from behind.

Also, avoid zoos, because you don’t want to over-excite the bears.

I want to buy several dozen of these and bury them in various locations with burnt offerings and pottery shards, so that one day archaeologists will think we all worshiped a bear fertility goddess.

Thanks to Amy Goudreau for posting this on the fanpage. Had she not posted it, I would have continued to live in blissful ignorance, unaware that you can wear ursine erotica on your hand.

Verameat Hibernation Hump Ring – $68

Check out Verameat’s website. It’s only 3% bear porn, and 97% awesome and creative pendants and rings, including but not limited to a Loch Ness monster necklace.

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One comment on “Bearly Legal Barenstain Bears, vol. 3

  1. Reply iPhone 6S Selfie Stick Oct 14, 2015 1:23 am

    Dimension-wise, iPhone 6s Plus stands at 7.3mm thickness and weighs in at 192g, while S6 Edge Plus is 6.9mm thick and weighs just 173g. Edge Plus has actually managed to fit in a bigger screen than the Edge, while getting the thickness down to 6.9mm.

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