When I was a nine, Clarissa had the most amazing wardrobe ever (second was Cher from Clueless, third was Claudia Kishi). As far as I was concerned, the apex of style was this:

The way she carries the polka-dot theme through both the bike shorts and the vest? Inspired.

I did the best with what I had – from the ages of six to ten, never was I without a headband. Separating me from my bike shorts was near impossible. I didn’t have the giant vests or globe earrings, but dammit, I was doing my best.

But I knew that one day, when I was an adult, I would be able to buy my own clothes. Freed from my mother’s tyrannical requests (“It’s raining, maybe you should wear pants instead”), I would put together the ultimate Clarissa wardrobe. I would also be able to stay up past nine and eat cake for dinner.

Here’s the thing: Yes, Mini-Amanda had a master plan.

Then I became an adult and realized that it was a ridiculous plan (except for the cake for dinner part. Tastiest. Plan. Ever.). But otherwise, a ridiculous plan.

Apparently, other little boys and girls had the same plan, except they never became jaded. They just became designers, and produced things like bike shorts with lace panels.

David Lerner Lace Front Bike Shorts – $88 $44

You know how, for the last few months, I’ve posted a few times about the 90s resurgence? And in a few of those posts, I mentioned that I wore a lot of bike shorts back when I was a kid.

Man, I am so glad that no one’s bringing back bike shorts.

Wait a minute ….

Those short knit leggings look a lot like bike shorts.

In fact, if I saw someone wearing these on the street, I would probably exclaim “Whoa, look at those bike shorts!” Then she would have to respond with, “No, these are short knit leggings,” and I’d feel terribly rude, and would then apologize for insulting her.

Unless ….

They actually are bike shorts, and Forever 21 is just trying to make us think they’re innocuous by calling them “short leggings.” Because “short leggings” sound much more sophisticated than “bike shorts.”

I will say, their styling efforts just confirm that 90′s Amanda was way ahead of her time, because I also wore bike shorts with a t-shirt and studded cowboy boots. Man, I was so cool.

Forever 21 Short Knit Legging – $4.90