I’m still on a quest to find shorts – I’ve owned all of four pairs since I was 16 – but in the meantime, I’ve been entertaining myself by looking at summery footwear.

So, today’s theme is …

Chairman Kaga especially enjoys the trapeze classes.

BC Footwear Oh Sailor Sandal – $36.06

I really like these and I don’t know why. In my head, someone else is wearing them - someone who is distinctly more artsy, more grounded, more scarf-tied-around-her-headish. Or I imagine these shoes on the girls I see walking Robertson, who somehow manage to be effortless and stylish – girls who can wear cutoff jean bermuda shorts and not look butch.

These aren’t shoes I’d normally gravitate toward, but I really like them, I guess because I associate them with so much that’s the opposite of who I am. It makes them exotic, despite being totally unexotic.

Oh, and they received really good reviews on Endless.com.

Seychelles Get Outta Town Flat – $62.36-79.95

Simple and dressy. The last few nights have been warm; if I bothered to dress up, I’d wear these with a lightweight dress and would feel very pretty and girly – right up until that  first time I trip, which inevitably happens when I make the mistake of thinking I’m graceful. Seriously, I don’t know why my feet want to take me down a peg, but apparently they have real issues with my putting on airs.

FitFlop Oasis Sandal – $39.95-$49.95

No, really. Go with me here.

I’ve been trying to find a way to write about these for a while. I don’t know or care if they tone your legs or strengthen your thighs or bake you a gourmet cake in the dream kitchen they built for you with their own hands. Those aren’t the reason why you should own these. You should own these because they are remarkably comfortable.

They don’t come in half sizes, which can take some adjusting to. But once you’re used to it, these are the most comfortable flip flops ever. And all because of one simple thing:

They have arch support.

Yes. Arch support. For your arches. Like real shoes. Which, if you have weird high arches like mine, is magical. These are now my go-to shoes for when I’m too lazy to put on Converse. Yes, it’s possible to be that lazy.

They’re not particularly attractive shoes, but they’re comfortable and I can walk in them. My dog now knows that, if I put on those  flip flops, he is going outside. Or I am just checking the mail and am a cruel tease. One of the two. But the point is, these are now my go-to “I have to run outside for a few minutes” or “I don’t feel like tying laces” shoes.

And so ends another week. I’ll be back on Monday, provided I survive shopping for shorts.

I will say this, though: the soles are so flat, my arches hurt just looking at them.

Sigerson Morrison Bracelet Flat Suede Sandals with Back Zip – $395

And what is to come?

A little something I like to call …. THE ACLOGALYPSE!

Says Glamour.com fashion editor Susan Cernek, “We’ve seen Mary Janes for the past 10 years. And the same with strappy sandals. But clogs haven’t been in fashion for 10 years — and chances are, you don’t already have a pair in your closet.”

Hey, Susan, ever wonder why we’ve seen Mary Janes and strappy sandals for the past 10 years? Because they’re awesome. Because they’re reliable. Because these exist:

Honestly, was anyone getting sick of Mary Janes or the strappy sandal? Was there a clunky void that needed to be filled? Was there a mass outcry that I missed? Riots in the streets? Who, exactly, has been demanding the return of the clog, other than the Dutch, who -

Oh my god. That’s it. The Dutch.

In these troubled economic times, the Dutch economy is expected to grow by 2%. Coincidence? Or evidence of a Dutch-led conspiracy to foist clogs, their main export, upon the American public?

I think I’m on to something here. This could be huge.

Does Glenn Beck know about this? Or Keith Olbermann? Because this seems right up their alley.